A speech by Rebecca Buttiġieġ

Rebecca Buttiġieġ was recently in Spain to make a speech for a Pride March in Madrid. She then came to Malta to patronizingly tell Isabelle Bonnici that a public inquiry about the death of her son was not necessary. Supposedly, she was traveling to Europe to “promote human rights”, and Europe is all the much better because of her tour because this Labour MP, who refuses calls for public inquiries on the death of a worker by corruption is the shining light of human rights in Europe.

Here is Rebecca Buttiġieġ’s speech that she gave in Madrid.

“Dear Spanish friends

I am here with you today by the grace of our friendship with your Great Leader, Mr. Handsome, although we’re sorry to know that he is going to leave office very soon. That makes one less reluctant Premier friend of my totally corrupt and fraudulent government. Nobody likes to be our friends because we have a horrible reputation for the murder of journalists, corruption on an international scale, secret energy deals with China, the passport and money laundering businesses, and as of recently, even the denial of life-saving abortions to women too. So, as you can imagine, your Mr. Handomse, who entered office and became Prime Minister after the police broke into the office of his political rival and then Prime Minister, Mr. Old, stormed Mr Old’s Party’s quarters and hauled him to court over money laundering and corruption charges, is not very happy to have us his friends.  We are only friends because we come from the same political family: the family of socialists. (We assure you however, we have a lot of business partners, and if you would like to buy a passport, you are welcome to speak to me at the end of the show).

But, unlike you, we are not socialists. Our parents used to be socialists but that’s history. Now, we are snake oil salespeople and we sell the theater of politics, but we’re actually thieves and frauds. So, we sell the idea that we can govern the country when we are actually acting it out – fake it till you make it, as they say, only that we are not making it as the Labour Party keeps hemorrhaging votes. It’s like a wild festa where we play government while we get richer because it’s the only thing we know. Recently, we lost the votes of many women because my boss didn’t want to give them the right to abortion unless they are literally dying and three old medical doctors from the Medieval Era approved the abortion procedure after much deliberation in a grand-jury-like-super-important-committee.

Faking politics is hard when your country is run by jungle rules and your citizens are demanding their rights. This is also why I have come dressed in pink for the occasion – I need to make an extra effort to project myself accordingly and visually – in fact, the only reason why I have this position is because I am a young woman. My boss thought it would be a good idea to fool people into thinking that we are advocates for human rights by placing a young woman as Minister for Human Rights – it’s a new trend, you know. I get to project that the Labour Party is a human rights defender whilst we pass legislation that negates abortions for women and denies the press the right to publish on our private matters. We’re like that – frauds and clowns. Unlike you of course, who have remained true to your socialist principles when you passed legislation that allowed wider access to abortion for women.

I wish I was in the Party of Mr Handsome, but what can I do? If I hadn’t built a fraudulent career with the Labour Party by falsely projecting myself as a progressive I would have been selling apartments on the Sliema front to Nazzjonalisti and rich foreigners, or working as an HR officer with a gaming company. An economy of the L-Aqwa Żmien: only that I don’t want to participate in it. I prefer the Party’s gravy train because at least I can get to travel and meet Mr Handsome. And there’s no way I would like it if I ever was a property agent. I know that I have come here to tell you about gay rights, but can you imagine selling property to a rich gay couple? The sheer horror. I can’t imagine how difficult they would be apart from asking me about every, single, little God damn thing about the property – what chemical paint was used for the walls? Is the Eliso Ricci bathroom tap model the classic version or the renovated model by the renowned Danish post-modern metallurgic artist? Can the doors and windows be changed before we do the purchase because we have this special passion for doors and windows and we are very specific about the kind of doors and windows that fit into our minimalist design plans. And so on and so forth.

There’s not much that I can do – literally. Selling products and services in a free market would be kind of tough for me, so instead, I opted to work in politics where my country is practically a one-party state and my competition is limited. I also had a guaranteed seat in Parliament because in Malta women are even co-opted in Parliament. So, that’s quite easy if you think about it and I don’t need to be bright. The only thing I need to do is say yes to my boss and repeat his press statements handed to me by Aleander Balzan like a dumb, yet colorful parrot – often I have absolutely no idea what I am saying. I have a degree in International Relations and another one in Global Security and Justice, and these degrees have been useful for me in learning how to conjure stories and explanations as to why my Party loathes the legacy of a murdered journalist that was killed by its criminal associates. So let me tell you the real story.

I don’t give a damn about any rights unless my boss tells me to care. My Party is a criminal organisation that has been parading this gay rights thing for some time now as part of its wider theatre and propaganda. Some years back Malta introduced genderless marriage and the option to choose your own gender. We had a different Prime Minister back then who today, is being accused of massive corruption schemes and criminal conspiracies, but anyway. The fact that we have gay rights is meant to put your mind at rest that we have a progressive government even if the current administration had nothing to do with those reforms. In the meantime you are supposed to ignore our current war against the press, our constant cover-ups of all the Prime Minister’s criminal friends, and the ongoing corruption schemes that we and our Party are involved in.

So, by this statement, I declare that Malta is a country that endorses human rights: unless you are a woman and need an abortion, of course. It doesn’t affect me though. I am a Minister and I can do whatever I want, and if I need an abortion, I can just order some pills online or fly and get one, unlike all the poors whom I ask for their votes, of course – they would have to contend with giving birth. Sorry, folks, everyone is born equal, but I am now part of Malta’s elite: the clowns who pretend to govern the country.”




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